Valuing Yourself
It is very common that, as Christians, we often neglect to value ourselves as Jesus values us. Sometimes, we get so caught up in helping others that we forget our value and form insecurities that cripple our emotional well-being. Knowing our worth and where it is found, is very important in order to stay focused on the things that God assigns us to do on earth. As a follower of Christ, this knowledge helps us to stay confident and clear during our race. As we face problems in our lives, we will be able to remember our worth through the work that Christ did for us.
Genesis 1:26-27 says we are made in His image, the very image of God. Psalm 139:13-16 says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and all the days of our lives were written in God’s book before we were ever born, confirming God’s prior knowledge and plan for our lives. Ephesians 1:4 says God chose His children before the foundations of the earth were ever formed, and in Ephesians 1:13-14 we’re told we are God’s own possession, chosen for the praise of His glory, and that we have an inheritance in heaven with Him as His children.
These verses all have one thing in common: they are things done to us or for us by God. These are not things we have done for ourselves, nor have we earned or deserved them. Our worth is not really of our own but it is worth given to us by God. We are of value to Him that we can’t even imagine because of the price He paid to make us worthy which is the death of Christ on the cross.
Acknowledging our worth determines the way we live our lives, interact with God and other people. Respecting who you are is a huge part of valuing yourself. This may mean not talking negatively about yourself and looking for every chance to be critical. It may mean not staying in unhealthy relationships because we think we can’t find better ones or we don’t deserve them. It means taking care of ourselves, in all aspects of our lives. To read more about how to care for yourself, click here - Self-Care.
Why should you value yourself?
If you don’t realize your worth, you won’t be able to share that same value to others. This goes back to the second commandment that Jesus gave, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” In order to love others, you have to love and value yourself. For example, you have to realize you are good enough and that you are loved beyond measure, to show that same love and value to your friend. Only then you can care for them, love them, make them feel valued for their friendship with you.
Whereas, if you don’t love yourself, you often feel bad about yourself, have low self-esteem, undeserving of good things or jealous because someone has it better than you. There are many examples I’ve seen in my everyday life that reflect these characteristics simply because there is no self-love or worth. When people are bitter about their own short-comings, they feel the need to be jealous of other people’s success. That’s why it is so important to be content with who you are and what you have and actively try your best to be the best that you can be.
In order to feel confident and valued, you have to love all the good and bad parts of yourself. Remember to accept your mistakes and work on your faults, to be the best version of yourself. This works better than comparing yourself to someone prettier than you, smarter than you, braver than you or richer than you. Love yourself for who you are, just as Christ does. Jesus knows that you are flawed and have sinned a great ton of times. But He still chose to love you, give His life for you and have a relationship with you. Now tell me, do you still feel like you’re not worth it?
I used to be very insecure about my character and my personality. Since I’m an introvert, I used to be very scared to put myself out there. I would always think twice before I would say anything. Before I would contribute to the conversation, the moment would pass and everyone would have moved on. I would always be scared of being told, “This person is the same age as you and they’re talking confidently to everyone. Why can’t you be like them?” Because of that, I used to think, my thoughts never added value to conversations. I used to think, I wasn’t as interesting as others. So I would stay quiet and felt unworthy amongst other people. But then I found the confidence to speak my mind, by reading and learning about many topics. I would watch videos of current events and popular culture. I would read articles about history and science. I would stay on top of current trends and new technology so that I would be able to bring value to conversations and bring credibility to what I would say. That made me feel less insecure and built confidence to face my peers. I trained myself to be my best, which gave me more confidence, as I pushed myself to approach more people and carry conversations with them.
I try not to let a difficult situation, that I face, control me, but I use the value I place on myself to determine the mood I have to be in. At times, I would encounter conflicts with someone I love or a family member, which would make me feel unworthy or unloved. During those times, I would remember the sacrifice of God for me because of His love and that He has a purpose for me on this earth. That would rejuvenate me to keep going. As I learn to love myself for everything that I am, I remember that all my flaws make me who I am. I try to be a better version of myself each day so that I can feel confident and to inspire those around me.
How to know if your values are right
Personally, I base my values on the Bible, my family, and my experiences. My parents taught me values based on biblical truths that shape our moral values. From a young age, I’ve spent my life listening to sermons by my dad, mom, grandpa, grandma, and even my siblings. Plus by pastors during Sunday services. That’s a lot of sermons! Even though I’ve heard many people teach from the word of God, I’ve always been intrigued about what the Bible actually says and what the true intention of God is in scripture. If I was ever doubtful about why a law or a rule was commanded, I would go to the scripture for an explanation.
When I base my morals and values on the word of God, I believe the Holy Spirit reminds me of what the word of God says and teaches me right from wrong, each day, as I walk with Him. As Col 3:1 says, “Seek the things that are above,” I set my values based on the things of God and strive to do things that are pleasing in His eyes. In time, through my personal experiences, my values were shaped into specific things I believe. For instance, my take on relationships, movies, music, entertainment, sin, faith and more, were all shaped by the situations I faced as I grew and through my understanding of the word of God. As I base my values on the Bible, it helps me lead a life pleasing to God and keeps me protected.
Jesus shows us our worth through His love.
Genuine love comes from Christ. He is the model of love (1 John 4:7-21). When we experience His love, we get to share that same love with others. Without experiencing His love, we will only try to show our human love, which always has strings attached or ends in disaster. To experience His love, you can read about all the goodness of God through the Bible. As you actively spend your life with Christ, He will show His love to you through everyday life situations. He will show His care in the smallest things as you carry out your day. Look for His goodness in all things and remember that your worth is found in the unconditional love of Christ.
Some advice:
Compare yourself to no one.
Embrace your mistakes, and learn from them.
Take opportunities to develop yourself.
Share your journey with someone you trust.
This blog post was written in collaboration with Joshua Singh.
Joshua Singh is a kingdom leader called to inspire the church to grow the leader within, so they can live a life of influence, insight, and intimacy with Jesus.